Our lives

Being married is such a wonderful gift. Having a husband like Jon, is my gift from God. Everyone has issues come up in their lives that makes life difficult. If one is lucky, you have someone by your side that makes those things a bit easier to deal with.

Jon is that someone for me. I don't have any idea how I would face my life without his love next to me. I have days with my MS that I can't move much at all. Days where I feel like nothing is going my way. Jon is always right there with me, helping me in any way that I need help. Sometimes that gets annoying, but for the most part; I am blessed and know it.

There are days when I can't get out of bed. It's hard but unfortunately it is part of my life living with MS. Jon is always there to help me from room to room. I don't know how he manages to make me feel better on those days, but he always does.

Without him, I would have given up already. Where would I be without his help and his support? I don't know, but I can tell you it wouldn't be in a very good place. I am so blessed, our daughters are blessed to have a dad in their lives that love them the way Jon does.

Life is good

Things have been so hectic that I haven't had much time to post here.

After the wedding on March 12th, we moved five days later. Once we made it down to Texas, we set out to find a house. We had planned on living in El Paso Texas. Well things turn out the way they are supposed to. We ended up finding a house in New Mexico, just one and a half blocks from El Paso city limits.

The city we live in is very small. But we are like five minutes away from all kinds of shopping! We both work in El Paso, so we are always there. We adore the beautiful mountains that are all around this area. Jon knew how much I wanted to be able to go to the top of the highest mountain around. We had no idea how to get up there. Jon is persistent though, he kept looking until he found the way.

The view from the top of that mountain is so breathtaking! The girls and I loved every second on that mountaintop.

So things are still trying to be adjusted. When two people combine their lives, it can be difficult to adjust to one another. The adjustment period is going along, and we are starting to make things work out. I'm so happy that Jon and I met and fell in love. I am so in love with this man, I can't imagine what life would be like at this point without having him right beside me.

I'm slowly getting used to being married and not having to do everything for the girls alone anymore. Jon has been amazing with them, it has been awesome seeing them all opening up to each other.


Jon,

 Our lives are only just beginning together. We have so much to look forward to.  I love you with every breath I take. There will be days when all we want to do is strangle each other. As we move forward, those days will become less. I am looking forward to our future together. I look forward to each new day and the happiness that will bring us.

I feel like I don't tell you often enough how proud of you I really am. You have not only shown me what an amazing man you are, but you have shown me the man you want to be.  You are an inspiration in many ways. I strive to be a better wife because you give me that inspiration.

I love you baby...

I love my husband

Jon is an amazing man. He moved half way across the map, so that my MS wouldn't flare up so badly. He took on the responsibility of three daughters when he didn't have to. He married someone that more than likely won't be around more than a few years max.

Every day he makes sure that the girls and I have what we need. Even things we may not need but want. He takes the time to listen to me when I talk, that is a huge thing to me. Sometimes I don't have the words to put together to tell him why I am upset or hurt or whatever. He sits there and waits until I can try to piece enough words together to make him understand me.

No marriage is perfect, we all have our ups and downs. But when two people can talk through their issues, its as perfect of a relationship as you can get. Jon makes sure that we do just that. Yes we argue, but in the end we talk it out. We don't go to bed upset with the other. We always tell the other we love one another, because no matter what the day brings,we are in love with each other.

Jon my love -- I love you with everything I am. My heart and soul belong to you, my husband. No matter what we will face in this life, together we face it all. Thank you for being the husband that I have looked my entire life for. Thank you for loving me in ways I never thought possible. Thank you for being patient with me. I love you

It's official!

It is finally official! Jon and I are now legally married. We had the most special wedding I could have imagined. Jon looked amazing in his tux. I wore a white wedding gown for the first time ever. Our oldest and our youngest girls each sang a song during the ceremony. They did an awesome job! I am so proud of them for overcoming their fears of singing in public.

My good friend Dale is a minister so he performed the ceremony. Another friend is a photographer and offered to take our wedding pictures. My mother-in-law and sister-in-law did the cake. My father-in-law and brother catered our reception dinner.

Everything went over very well! I have never been happier in my entire life. Jon has been so amazing through all of my hysteria with wedding planning.

Four days after we were married we moved our new family from Illinois to Texas. It is one huge difference. We went from small hick town to huge metro area in a span of a two day drive. Jon drove the entire way and for the most part needed to be pried out of the truck at the end of our days drive.

We now live in a town where you don't have to drive two hours from home to go to a decent store. Instead you drive across the street to find almost anything your heart desires. Such a massive change. We are loving every second of our new hometown though.

Tomorrow we spend the day in search of our new home. Fun times. Can't wait to get settled and be able to finally relax.

I'll be back to posting more often as soon as I can after we get things in order again.

Another Day at home!

Yes that's right, another day at home! My sweet loving Jon is HOME! You have no idea how difficult it was to keep my mouth shut about him coming home. He has been home just two weeks now. We are still re-adjusting to having him home. And he is adjusting to being home as well.

We have just at three weeks until the wedding! I am so excited, I can't believe that we are finally going to be married. I never thought I would do the whole marriage thing again. But I am so very proud to know that he will be my husband until I take my last breath. I can not think of a better man to spend the rest of my life with. Jon IS the better half of my soul.

I don't know how much time I am going to have over the next few weeks for writing. So please forgive me if I don't keep this blog updated as often as I was before Jon came home. I will do my best to update as possible.

It's Been Forever

It feels like it has been forever since I posted anything here. My last post I made here, I wasn't dealing with my husbands deployment very well. Honestly it was hell during that week. Since that post, I have been running around with my head cut off so to speak.

My husbands grandmother/mother (long story) became very ill and passed away. I had to make a trip to Alabama for her funeral. I had a very difficult task of telling Jon that she was ill and another terrible task of telling him when she died. Having to tell him such bad news over the phone while he is still in Afghanistan was the most heart breaking thing I have had to do.

Now I have traveled across the US before, my first husband was a truck driver. I myself don't usually drive across country. This time though I had the girls with me and we drove from home to Atlanta GA. Then we had to go to Alabama. Last night we made the drive from Alabama back home. Eight hours in the rental van (which was totally cool) made me so tired.

The rental van was a 2012 Town & Country. It was completely decked out. Dual sliding doors that open and close at the push of a button. The back hatch door also operated with the push of a button. There was a built in LED flashlight! The seats; middle and back rows; folded into the floor. It had cup holders everywhere, it even had 110 volt hookups! We could plug my laptop in and let it charge going down the road. It had a built in DVD player too. We could upload music into the built in hard drive in the van so that we could have our own music. It had a built in backup camera, pop that baby in reverse and we could see on the screen what was behind us!

I fell in love with that rental van. It was THE bomb. Of course with so much technology it was pricey. I will never be able to afford such a luxury like that of my own. It sure felt awesome to be able to drive around in such comfort.

Anyway enough about the awesome van. We made it back home and only lost our way once. Which I thought was pretty darn good. We were so close to home when I somehow got turned around on the Parkway. I found my way back to the right direction after about thirty minutes. An eight hour trip took just over nine hours. Reason being, we stopped for over an hour and a half to have dinner. Otherwise we would have made it in under eight hours.

The girls are sitting enjoying their laptops right now. And I am doing some much needed catch up on my blogs. As for now, I am going to close  this post and try my best to get a decent nights sleep. It has been difficult in these last five months to sleep. I did have almost a week of amazing sleep while in Alabama though.

Until next time friends, take care.

I'm so over this deployment

We still have a long way to go before we are supposed to see the end of this deployment. I am already so very tired of it. I'm so tired of Jon not being able to be home where he belongs. I'm sick to death of all the worry every day on if he is okay. I knew this would be difficult but I never imagined it would be this much hell.

I'm ready for Jon to be home, now. I hate not having him here where I know he is safe. Deployments suck.

Friday Jan. 13th, 2012

This evening I have been thinking back to the night that I first met Jon. We had such a good time just sitting around talking while we waited for the fireworks display to start. During the display we stood there oohing and ahhing over all the pretty colors and still carried on a conversation. Once the grandstand cleared out we too left the stand, only we went under the stand to sit and talk and let the girls use their sparklers.Oh how I wish Jon were here and we could be sitting there at our park talking the night away again.

On Wednesday the week we met, I met his parents for the first time. I had talked to his dad from my front door the night before, long enough to thank him for bringing Jon over. Jon and I sat and talked for hours. We learned so much about each other that night. On Wednesday we went to his house, the girls enjoyed Jon's cooking just a little too much. Jon and I spent hours just laying in his room talking.

Shortly before his mom and dad got home, I was getting ready to take the girls home. When he talked to his mom a short time later, he asked me to stay and meet his parents. My nerves were a wreck, it felt like being in high school all over again. I hadn't had to meet a man's parents in a very long time. It was a strange feeling.

It turned out that my knotted stomach was for nothing. His mom and dad were so easy to talk to. After a couple of hours, the girls and I headed home. It was strange because for some reason I felt like part of me was missing. Jon and I texted and talked most of the night away.

Most people would say that we moved way too fast. In less than a week's time, the girls and I had moved in with Jon and his parents. Just a little over a week after we met, Jon had to head out for training. He was gone for three weeks. When he made it back home from training, we got engaged. He was home just over a month then had to leave for his last training before deploying.

He spent the next month and a half in Texas training. Before he was sent over to Afghanistan, I was able to go to Texas to spend four days with him. We had such a nice time. We didn't do much really other than drive around. Although we went to the movies one evening, and on another evening we spent a couple of hours at a club.

For once the focus was just on us. We didn't have the girls we had to worry about, we didn't have a ton of things to do. We just had each other and time to just relax. I had to take Jon back to his base before I had to leave Texas to make the trip home. I hated saying goodbye, I knew it would be many months before I was able to see him again.

These last three months without Jon home has been difficult. There are days when all I want to do is cry. Then there are days that are easier to deal with. November was the hardest month of my life. I had to get through a horrible experience without him here.

December found me focused on the girls and their Christmas gifts. We spent Christmas Eve with my Aunt and Uncle. Christmas Day was so very special, we were able to spend Christmas morning with Jon on Skype. It was the most awesome feeling in the world to spend that holiday with him. Even though he was half way across the world, he made that day special for the girls and I.

Jon and I may have only been together for six months, but I feel like I have been with him my whole life. Having Jon overseas is difficult, but it has brought us so much closer together. We knew from the beginning that communication was the most important part of a relationship. Talking is all we have with him overseas. There isn't anything to get in the way of that.

We used to spend hours on the phone when he was in his training before he headed to war. Now we don't have the luxury of talking for hours most of the time. Once in a while we are able to do just that on Skype. It makes my day go so much faster when I am able to spend some time just reconnecting with him. No one understands just how much communication matters until they don't have it. We do.

Jon,

I miss you so much my love. Sometimes things are quiet in this part of the house, and I am able to just sit and remember. Tonight has been one of those nights, where all I am doing is just thinking back  to before you had to leave. Remembering how much fun we had just sitting on the front porch talking. I miss those days so badly.

I can't wait until the day that you are back home, and we can just sit and hold one another and talk like we used to do. I love you so very much

Until later my love

Tues. Jan 10th, 2012

Well here it is almost Wednesday already. Where has this week gone? Most of it has seemed to be flying by, until this evening that is. This evening has been a really slow night. What have I done interesting lately? Not much.

Today mom colored Faith's hair red! She has such beautiful hair. It's long and RED now. Who knew it would take 3 or more boxes of coloring to do her hair? It needed four boxes to get the right shade of red all over it. Wal-Mart ran out of the color the other night when we picked up my two boxes. So now we must wait for them to get it back again. Then we redo her hair.

She has red hair, mine is a red/pink. I love it. She got a little upset with me today because her hair isn't as light as she wanted it. I refuse to bleach hers for fear of it damaging her hair. I love Faith Rose's hair and I would hate to see it damaged at all. We'll see though, I know she wants brighter red. It's not easy to get when you have such dark hair to begin with.

That's all for tonight, I have to get to bed at a decent time tonight.

Jan. 8th, 2012---It's Official

I am in LOVE with Splat! My new hair color is a brand called Splat, it is their raspberry color! It is THE most awesome color I have ever had! My mother-in-law did the bleaching and coloring of my hair. She did an awesome job. We had to leave the bleach on for so long, that my scalp is very tender. But the color it turned out after coloring it, is well worth the misery of the bleaching.

I hope and pray that Jon likes it when he is able to see the pics we took. He got to see me as a blonde, I hated the blonde. I am not meant to ever have blonde hair. That's okay with me because I am totally loving this red!

It has a bit of a pink/red to it. People around our town look at me very strangely now. I don't care, because this is how I wanted it. I have always wanted Reba Red. Well, I have too dark of natural hair to get that shade of red. That's okay though, this is perfect!

Here's a picture of my red:

Thank you mom for helping me get this color! I LOVE it!

Jan. 8th, 2012 ----I'm A Blonde!

You heard me right (or read it right)! I'm a strawberry blonde. I never thought I would go blonde again. Last time I was a blonde I was 18 and didn't know better LOL. I don't know why I went blonde, Jon will have a cow when he see's it. I told him tonight that I went blonde. He was all "what made you do that"?

I have my reasons LOL. I can't say why just yet, I'll ruin the idea if I tell about it yet. Trust me if the reason turns out right, I will be in heaven.

Jon,

I love you baby, don't have heart failure when you see the pics LMAO.

Fighting A War--written by Faith Rose Johnson

Fighting A War.

The day's all pass in suspicion and fear when you aren't near.
I miss hearing your soft whispered tone by my ear.

I can still feel your touch even when we're half a world apart.
I know you have to fight, I know you see the ugly sights, Still you have my heart.

The Nights I lie awake and think about the war going on.
It's like a head banging rock song.
The singer knows the words, the audience is left to wonder what it is that is being sang so loud.
I know you know the words we speak, I know the things, you shouldn't have to see, Still I am So Very Proud.

I know the day, you arrive in peace, You will stand beside me and rest finally.
The day we get to hold each other tight I know we will finally get some sleep.
What you sing so loud and clear, is like a slow country song, the words mean everything, the singer means more.

Tomorrow is another day, you have to play.
With your big army guns and you missiles and more, The water you get comes from the shore.
You never would have thought A little boy playing in mud and muck would end up fighting a war.
You never would have thought that, playing with that water gun, would end up fighting in the sandbox.

Its not a pretty sight, the things that you fight for, I know that one day, you will be home.
Safe.
Forever.

Until That Day, I want you to know, everything about you, makes my heart glow.
Everything you do, for me and this country, I appreciate the sacrifices you make.
Each and every day.

Fighting a war, you shouldn't have to fight.

 

Written by ©Faith Rose Johnson.

 

Monday Jan. 2nd, 2012

Happy New Year to all my friends and family! I hope that this new year brings happiness for each of us. So have you all heard the news? The Army is doing cutbacks, what does that mean exactly? Well they are sending some troops home early. Not all and not nearly as many as they should send home.

But there are some families that have been blessed to welcome their loving soldiers home earlier than expected. I'm happy for each of them that get that opportunity. It's always great news to hear about our soldiers coming home before we thought they would.

Others are still waiting and will continue to wait and hope.One thing being a military family teaches us is to not get our hopes up too high. As sure as you do, your heart will get broken. So while we have hope, we cautiously hope. We tell ourselves that not all the soldiers will be lucky enough to get home sooner than they had thought. Still, we can't help but hold onto the hope that our soldier will be one of those lucky ones. Then we tell ourselves that it probably won't happen, they are needed where they are or they wouldn't have gotten sent there in the first place.

Do we wish that our soldier could be one of those few that get sent home? Absolutely! We can't be selfish, as much as they are wanted and needed at home; they are also needed to do a job. And while we may not always (or anytime for that matter) agree with them being there, we know that they are good at what they do.

It is certainly a tough situation. I would give anything to have my Jon home. I pray every day that he will get to come home early. In my prayers I ask that he be allowed to come home safe in one piece, and sooner than we have been lead to believe. At the same time though, I ask that his coming home early not mean he comes home physically hurt. I would rather spend a year apart from him than have him in any pain from a physical injury.

The mental side of this deployment I am ready to handle. I know that his reintegration will be difficult. Our soldiers see so many things that we can't even begin to understand. We cannot expect them to come home to us as if they had never left. Parts of them will always be in the war torn countries they have gone to protect us from.

Back to my train of thought here; with cut backs in the number of troops in Afghanistan that means changes for those that are going to be staying there. For some that means that they will have their two week leave postponed. Others will find out that their deployment will be extended by months. Which means a twelve month deployment may lead to an eighteen month tour instead.

The families of those that will be seeing their deployments extended will be put through even more agony when this happens.Those troops will need even more morale boosters. It's tough enough to get through a year away from home in the middle of a pile of sand. A year and a half becomes ones epitome of hell on Earth.

Our soldiers and their families need our help even more through these trying and extended tours. Let's all reach out and help show them that our love and appreciation doesn't end at the twelve month mark.


Reach out to help here: Operation We Send Love


Peace,
Betty

Sunday Jan. 1st,2012! Happy New Year

Happy New Year! I hope each and every one of you got your kiss in at midnight. May you all be blessed with a terrific New Year. Be careful and don't Drink and Drive.

My New Years kiss will come later in the year. But oh how I look forward to that amazing day.

Jon my love,

I love you so very much. All I thought about tonight was what we would be doing if you had been home. I miss being in your arms baby. This year will be a long one, but I hope that it passes quickly.
I love  you, Happy New Year baby

My Awesome Mom and Dad... 12/23/2011

Friday Dec. 30th, 2011

Tonight the girls, mom and I had PSP class. I taught all four of them how to use masks, make animated text and add borders and frames to their pictures! It was so much fun. The girls had a great time, and grandma took notes so she could remember the steps later. For me it was fun, I had to remember the steps without my computer in front of me. Usually I'm sitting at my laptop and don't think about the steps to do any of it. This time I didn't take my laptop to the kitchen. I still enjoyed it though.

So tomorrow night is the big night of the year; New Year's Eve. My resolution? To try to remember that I am not the only one that has a gaping hole in my life where Jon should be. Is that my only one? Nope, I hope to have lost 15 pounds by April. How do I plan on making that small hope into reality? Usually starting in March I hit the streets walking, this year I plan on hitting the gym until it gets nicer weather. Then I will take to the streets to enjoy all the views of our city.

Fifteen pounds and I have just at 4 months to accomplish that goal. I can do that! Here I come gym!

I love you Jon,

Until later

My Darling Jon...

Yesterday, today, and tomorrow; you are always in my heart. Every day is spent thinking of you and about you. Our future is bright thanks to you, there will never again be dark skies. I love you

Tuesday Dec. 27th, 2011

Well, how was your Christmas? Ours turned out to be awesome! My sweet Jon was so excited about what we had gotten the girls, that he couldn't wait to see their faces light up. He had me wake them at 4:30 AM our time, so that he was able to be on Skype watching them unwrap their gifts. Three sleepy young ladies all just wanting to crawl back into bed, didn't make for shinning faces. It was almost a let down at the time. That is until they woke back up later in the day and it hit them just what their dad had done for them.

Jon had planned for months what he wanted their gift from him to be. He got each of them a new laptop! They had never had their own before. They had been using their grandma's laptops. Now they don't have too. They also received a digital camera from me for each of them. Now they don't have to play with grandma's really expensive camera anymore. Along with laptops and cameras they each got new headphones with mic so that they can Skype  with their dad and listen to music without interfering with the others. They each got a new mouse for their laptops.

All in all it was so much fun seeing their reactions after they woke up later in the day. My gift this year? Being able to have Jon here with us; even if it was via Skype. We talked for hours after the girls went back to bed. I finally went to bed after 8 AM Christmas morning. I didn't care, I wasn't sleepy I wanted to spend as much time as I could talking with Jon. Having him watching the girls unwrap their gifts almost felt like he was home.

That was the BEST gift he could have given me.I will never forget this Christmas. Who needs expensive or for that matter inexpensive material things? Not me, just give me my family all around me and I am one very happy lady. There aren't many Christmas's left that the kids will all be at home together with me at the same time. Before long they will be grown and have more important things to do than spend it with mom. I cherish all these little times we get to have together.

I'm looking forward to next Christmas when Jon will be back home, and by my side as our girls open their gifts. I will not forget to thank my lucky stars that my husband is home safe next year. Every day I'll have with him and the girls together will be my miracle.

Jon love,

Thank you for spending our Christmas morning with us. It meant the world to me to have you able to see the girls opening their gifts. I appreciate the fact that you took the time to watch the girls opening their Christmas gifts, out of your busy day. I love you so much for spending a few hours with me; it made my day so much brighter. It's all those small things that you do, that make me so very proud of you. I know it was hard on you watching the girls Christmas morning. I know it was hard not being able to be here in person.You have no idea how much that meant to me and the girls that you did that for them and me.

You still continue to amaze me, I appreciate the man that you are. I love the man that you continue to show me that you are. I admire that about you, you have a way of always putting us first and making sure we know that we matter to you. I'm so very proud of you love.

I love you

Until later love...

A Poem From my Daughter Rose 12-23-11

This poem was written by Jon and I's 14 year old daughter. I have always told her that she has an "old" soul. She knows and understands life much better than most adults do. She has lived the life of an 80 year old in her short life.

Here is part of her views:

America we stand

America we stand America we breathe America all I feel and all I see.

The sky so blue the grass so green America we are free.

The day so blue when your not here The night so lonely and filled with tears.

I know you are, fighting for our country, miss America, we are here.

The song so loud the water so clear I wish that you could be near.

Today we wait worlds apart as the war goes on I can imagine your fear.

The flag so tall the bell so gold What you hold deep inside is very sad and very bold.

Our American soldiers, our hero's at war, our mothers and daughters, our fathers and son's.

Tonight the stars are very dim the dogs howl with pride and I wish I was by your side.

Tomorrow I will wake, and hope for your sake the war we all fight, deep inside will be small left over movements, from this big earthquake.

The moment I see you standing so proud in front of me on American ground I will bow and smile and say, Our great American your home to stay.

                              America we stand.    ~Faith Rose~

 

She is an awesome writer! I love reading everything she writes. If you want to follow her blog, her link is on the left; A Soldier's Rose. She would love to hear from others what they think of her writing. Keep it positive please, she is only 14.

As for me I'll be back on Monday December 26th with an updated blog. I'm going to try my best to enjoy the next two days with my family. Merry Christmas to you all and may your holiday be a safe one.

Jon,

Christmas is here baby. It's hard to believe that I will be spending it without you this year. I know that you are overseas, but at times it feels like you are right here with me. I hope that you are right here with me the next couple of days. I'm going to need your strength to pull me through this holiday. Remember you have my heart right there next to you every moment you are there. I love you baby, stay safe my love

Until later love,

Your wife

Thursday Dec. 22nd, 2011

As 2011 rolls to a close, I have been thinking and over-thinking what this year has meant to my life. I'm not one that usually thinks to much about a year closing and another beginning. For the most part each year just seems another year closer to my kids being grown, and my getting still older than I am. I guess you could say that I am a pessimist.

This year however, I have had so many things change. Some of which I am so extremely grateful for, others I could have done without. I'm not really one for lists either; so I won't bore anyone with a list of top ten or bottom ten. Most of you here reading this blog will already know my top and bottom of my "list".

Meeting Jon was absolutely the top of my list of amazing changes for the year. I know having Jon in my life will forever be the number one blessing every year for the rest of my life. He has given my life so many things. You never know how empty your life really is until you meet that one person that fills your life to an over flowing fountain. Life never seemed to give me a break. I learned this year from meeting Jon that it wasn't life that was short changing me, it was me. Jon has this way of making me see that life can't screw with you unless you let it.