This week has gone a little easier than the previous weeks have. That is in part to the fact that I am trying to get past where my head has been stuck. I won't apologize for how I have felt since the loss of our twins. I will however apologize for how I made others feel because of my feelings.
This week I have begun the long process of trying to figure out where I fit into this whole military life. With not being "legally" married to Jon, I don't fit into the category of "family". Yeah um okay whatever. Yes the military has their own rules and regulations. However they need to step up and realize that "family" involves more than parents, spouses, and kids. Family includes; girlfriends, fiancee's, grandparents and the list goes on and on.
Our military should recognize that our soldier's need and deserve the support of any one they have available to them. I may not be Jon's "legal" wife but, in our hearts we are just that.
No matter what my "legal" standing is; I will continue to stand beside my soldier every step of the way. He doesn't deserve less than that just because we aren't husband and wife on paper. I am no less proud of him because we aren't married. In fact the opposite is true; I have the ability to say the man I am in love with is a soldier. I'm not saying wives don't say that. I just mean that we may not be married but I am still beside my soldier supporting him through this life.
Around this small town USA there isn't really much in the way for supporting the families of our troops. Well, I am looking to change that. Our soldiers deserve every ounce of support that they can possibly get, no matter who that support comes from.
I am working on getting a family support group set up here in my local area. Together with the help of my mother-in-law, we are going to make this happen. Tonight I had the pleasure of speaking with someone from the Family Support Brigade. Danette was so helpful on the phone, and I am looking forward to working with her in the future.
If you are looking to help by volunteering or donating to a good cause, please keep the FSB in mind.
If you or someone you know is looking for support during deployment/ trainings, please feel free to contact me. I will do my best to help in any way I can. If I don't have the information you are after, I will help you get in touch with someone that can.
I don't know everything there is to know about the military way of life; but I am learning more every day. With the help of organizations like the FSB; I will make it through this deployment somewhat sane. Danette doesn't understand just what that few minutes on the phone did to help me mentally.
I won't say that there will be no more posts complaining about Jon being overseas. That wouldn't be very practical. There will always be days that are harder to get through than others. During those rough days this blog will help by being my sounding board. Everyone needs a way to vent our frustrations, this blog is mine.
Jon,
Yes this year is going to be rough love. I will make it through though. I need you to know that I will be better at this, I will get stronger. Please know that I am reaching out for the support that I need to walk me through this time you are away. I'm finally reaching those people that can and want to help. I'm not doing this so much for me as I am for the girls; and so that you won't be spending your time worrying about me.
I love you so very much,
Your Wife
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