Thursday Nov. 17th, 2011

Being the wife of a soldier is a long and difficult road. It's a life full of uncertainty, fears, sadness, and loneliness.  One minute you are so happy to be hearing your soldiers voice and in the next instant you are in tears because he has to say "later".

In my family we don't say goodbye at the end of our communications. Goodbye is too final. So instead we just say later, or we'll talk later. For me it's because I can't say goodbye. Goodbye means there isn't a later.

When my sweet Jon had to go for his training times, I refused to say goodbye. I felt like if I did use that word, that I wouldn't see Jon again. I explained one night to Jon that I just couldn't say bye. Since then we say later every time we are about to leave the conversation.

I count myself as a lucky wife. Jon has had contact with me every day since he has been gone except one. He would have that day but it was a day of travel. Not every soldier is able to stay in communication with their loved one as often as others.

I know that we too will have days and weeks without communications. Those are the days of this deployment that I do not look forward to. How does a wife get through the not knowing and being scared every time that the phone rings or there's a knock at the door? I don't know but I do know that we get through it somehow. We have to right, if we didn't there wouldn't be so many wives of soldiers.

I know I am not the only woman that is going through these same emotions right now. I know I'm not the first to have to deal with a deployment. Hell there are women that have gone through many many deployments with their loved ones. They are very strong women, because I don't know that I could handle more than one.

I believe that God only gives us what we can handle, but I also believe that God tests how much we can handle. I have been tested many times, I guess I have handled more than I thought was possible. God brought Jon into my life, there is NO other way to explain it. Yes we were in the right place at the right time. But who brought us there at that time in that place?

I don't believe that God would have brought Jon into my life and our daughters lives only to take him away from us so soon. So with that in mind, I know that God is going to bring Jon home to us as well.

I don't normally go into discussion about how I feel regarding God or other religious beliefs. And I apologize now if anyone takes offense to my blog post today. To get me through this deployment I have to believe in a higher power. I have to believe that someone is watching over our troops, keeping them safe.

As the Holidays are getting closer and Jon and other troops are getting more involved in their duties, we stop to remember that we will not always be able to have contact but it only means he is busy with his job. We stop and remember to be thankful for what we have now, we have our family; we have our freedom. We have freedom thanks to our troops that sacrifice their comfort, their family time, and for far too many, their lives.

My family and I will not forget the many sacrifices that are made every day to protect our freedom. We will remember that freedom isn't free, it's paid for by men and women that sacrifice every day. We will keep in our prayers not only our troops but, their families and loved ones that also sacrifice every day.

To all of the men and women both overseas and here at home, thank you from my family to yours for what you give to us every day. The freedom to sit and worry about our loved ones that are giving yet another family their freedom.

My loving husband,

Thank you my love. I know what you have sacrificed to be where you are doing what you are doing. You and every troop member there, have my appreciation and my gratitude. You are all over there protecting our daughters rights and their freedom. For that love, you have my undying love.

I won't lie and say it's not hard to have you away from us. That would be a huge lie. I will say though that no matter how hard it is, we will survive this deployment together. There isn't anything that we can not overcome, as long as we face it together.

I know having a family has been a new change. It's also what will bring you home. I hope that in some small way, you can feel our love for you from there. Thank you love, for everything you have so unselfishly given the girls and I. You gave us the one thing all four of us needed, love. I can tell you that we have felt that love every second since you gave it.

I love you my love,

Later,

Betty