Thursday, January 19, 2012

I'm so over this deployment

We still have a long way to go before we are supposed to see the end of this deployment. I am already so very tired of it. I'm so tired of Jon not being able to be home where he belongs. I'm sick to death of all the worry every day on if he is okay. I knew this would be difficult but I never imagined it would be this much hell.

I'm ready for Jon to be home, now. I hate not having him here where I know he is safe. Deployments suck.

Friday, January 13, 2012

Friday Jan. 13th, 2012

This evening I have been thinking back to the night that I first met Jon. We had such a good time just sitting around talking while we waited for the fireworks display to start. During the display we stood there oohing and ahhing over all the pretty colors and still carried on a conversation. Once the grandstand cleared out we too left the stand, only we went under the stand to sit and talk and let the girls use their sparklers.Oh how I wish Jon were here and we could be sitting there at our park talking the night away again.

On Wednesday the week we met, I met his parents for the first time. I had talked to his dad from my front door the night before, long enough to thank him for bringing Jon over. Jon and I sat and talked for hours. We learned so much about each other that night. On Wednesday we went to his house, the girls enjoyed Jon's cooking just a little too much. Jon and I spent hours just laying in his room talking.

Shortly before his mom and dad got home, I was getting ready to take the girls home. When he talked to his mom a short time later, he asked me to stay and meet his parents. My nerves were a wreck, it felt like being in high school all over again. I hadn't had to meet a man's parents in a very long time. It was a strange feeling.

It turned out that my knotted stomach was for nothing. His mom and dad were so easy to talk to. After a couple of hours, the girls and I headed home. It was strange because for some reason I felt like part of me was missing. Jon and I texted and talked most of the night away.

Most people would say that we moved way too fast. In less than a week's time, the girls and I had moved in with Jon and his parents. Just a little over a week after we met, Jon had to head out for training. He was gone for three weeks. When he made it back home from training, we got engaged. He was home just over a month then had to leave for his last training before deploying.

He spent the next month and a half in Texas training. Before he was sent over to Afghanistan, I was able to go to Texas to spend four days with him. We had such a nice time. We didn't do much really other than drive around. Although we went to the movies one evening, and on another evening we spent a couple of hours at a club.

For once the focus was just on us. We didn't have the girls we had to worry about, we didn't have a ton of things to do. We just had each other and time to just relax. I had to take Jon back to his base before I had to leave Texas to make the trip home. I hated saying goodbye, I knew it would be many months before I was able to see him again.

These last three months without Jon home has been difficult. There are days when all I want to do is cry. Then there are days that are easier to deal with. November was the hardest month of my life. I had to get through a horrible experience without him here.

December found me focused on the girls and their Christmas gifts. We spent Christmas Eve with my Aunt and Uncle. Christmas Day was so very special, we were able to spend Christmas morning with Jon on Skype. It was the most awesome feeling in the world to spend that holiday with him. Even though he was half way across the world, he made that day special for the girls and I.

Jon and I may have only been together for six months, but I feel like I have been with him my whole life. Having Jon overseas is difficult, but it has brought us so much closer together. We knew from the beginning that communication was the most important part of a relationship. Talking is all we have with him overseas. There isn't anything to get in the way of that.

We used to spend hours on the phone when he was in his training before he headed to war. Now we don't have the luxury of talking for hours most of the time. Once in a while we are able to do just that on Skype. It makes my day go so much faster when I am able to spend some time just reconnecting with him. No one understands just how much communication matters until they don't have it. We do.


I miss you so much my love. Sometimes things are quiet in this part of the house, and I am able to just sit and remember. Tonight has been one of those nights, where all I am doing is just thinking back  to before you had to leave. Remembering how much fun we had just sitting on the front porch talking. I miss those days so badly.

I can't wait until the day that you are back home, and we can just sit and hold one another and talk like we used to do. I love you so very much

Until later my love

Tuesday, January 10, 2012

Tues. Jan 10th, 2012

Well here it is almost Wednesday already. Where has this week gone? Most of it has seemed to be flying by, until this evening that is. This evening has been a really slow night. What have I done interesting lately? Not much.

Today mom colored Faith's hair red! She has such beautiful hair. It's long and RED now. Who knew it would take 3 or more boxes of coloring to do her hair? It needed four boxes to get the right shade of red all over it. Wal-Mart ran out of the color the other night when we picked up my two boxes. So now we must wait for them to get it back again. Then we redo her hair.

She has red hair, mine is a red/pink. I love it. She got a little upset with me today because her hair isn't as light as she wanted it. I refuse to bleach hers for fear of it damaging her hair. I love Faith Rose's hair and I would hate to see it damaged at all. We'll see though, I know she wants brighter red. It's not easy to get when you have such dark hair to begin with.

That's all for tonight, I have to get to bed at a decent time tonight.

Sunday, January 8, 2012

Jan. 8th, 2012---It's Official

I am in LOVE with Splat! My new hair color is a brand called Splat, it is their raspberry color! It is THE most awesome color I have ever had! My mother-in-law did the bleaching and coloring of my hair. She did an awesome job. We had to leave the bleach on for so long, that my scalp is very tender. But the color it turned out after coloring it, is well worth the misery of the bleaching.

I hope and pray that Jon likes it when he is able to see the pics we took. He got to see me as a blonde, I hated the blonde. I am not meant to ever have blonde hair. That's okay with me because I am totally loving this red!

It has a bit of a pink/red to it. People around our town look at me very strangely now. I don't care, because this is how I wanted it. I have always wanted Reba Red. Well, I have too dark of natural hair to get that shade of red. That's okay though, this is perfect!

Here's a picture of my red:

Thank you mom for helping me get this color! I LOVE it!

Jan. 8th, 2012 ----I'm A Blonde!

You heard me right (or read it right)! I'm a strawberry blonde. I never thought I would go blonde again. Last time I was a blonde I was 18 and didn't know better LOL. I don't know why I went blonde, Jon will have a cow when he see's it. I told him tonight that I went blonde. He was all "what made you do that"?

I have my reasons LOL. I can't say why just yet, I'll ruin the idea if I tell about it yet. Trust me if the reason turns out right, I will be in heaven.


I love you baby, don't have heart failure when you see the pics LMAO.

Tuesday, January 3, 2012

Fighting A War--written by Faith Rose Johnson

Fighting A War.

The day's all pass in suspicion and fear when you aren't near.
I miss hearing your soft whispered tone by my ear.

I can still feel your touch even when we're half a world apart.
I know you have to fight, I know you see the ugly sights, Still you have my heart.

The Nights I lie awake and think about the war going on.
It's like a head banging rock song.
The singer knows the words, the audience is left to wonder what it is that is being sang so loud.
I know you know the words we speak, I know the things, you shouldn't have to see, Still I am So Very Proud.

I know the day, you arrive in peace, You will stand beside me and rest finally.
The day we get to hold each other tight I know we will finally get some sleep.
What you sing so loud and clear, is like a slow country song, the words mean everything, the singer means more.

Tomorrow is another day, you have to play.
With your big army guns and you missiles and more, The water you get comes from the shore.
You never would have thought A little boy playing in mud and muck would end up fighting a war.
You never would have thought that, playing with that water gun, would end up fighting in the sandbox.

Its not a pretty sight, the things that you fight for, I know that one day, you will be home.

Until That Day, I want you to know, everything about you, makes my heart glow.
Everything you do, for me and this country, I appreciate the sacrifices you make.
Each and every day.

Fighting a war, you shouldn't have to fight.
Written by ©Faith Rose Johnson.

Monday, January 2, 2012

Monday Jan. 2nd, 2012

Happy New Year to all my friends and family! I hope that this new year brings happiness for each of us. So have you all heard the news? The Army is doing cutbacks, what does that mean exactly? Well they are sending some troops home early. Not all and not nearly as many as they should send home.

But there are some families that have been blessed to welcome their loving soldiers home earlier than expected. I'm happy for each of them that get that opportunity. It's always great news to hear about our soldiers coming home before we thought they would.

Others are still waiting and will continue to wait and hope.One thing being a military family teaches us is to not get our hopes up too high. As sure as you do, your heart will get broken. So while we have hope, we cautiously hope. We tell ourselves that not all the soldiers will be lucky enough to get home sooner than they had thought. Still, we can't help but hold onto the hope that our soldier will be one of those lucky ones. Then we tell ourselves that it probably won't happen, they are needed where they are or they wouldn't have gotten sent there in the first place.

Do we wish that our soldier could be one of those few that get sent home? Absolutely! We can't be selfish, as much as they are wanted and needed at home; they are also needed to do a job. And while we may not always (or anytime for that matter) agree with them being there, we know that they are good at what they do.

It is certainly a tough situation. I would give anything to have my Jon home. I pray every day that he will get to come home early. In my prayers I ask that he be allowed to come home safe in one piece, and sooner than we have been lead to believe. At the same time though, I ask that his coming home early not mean he comes home physically hurt. I would rather spend a year apart from him than have him in any pain from a physical injury.

The mental side of this deployment I am ready to handle. I know that his reintegration will be difficult. Our soldiers see so many things that we can't even begin to understand. We cannot expect them to come home to us as if they had never left. Parts of them will always be in the war torn countries they have gone to protect us from.

Back to my train of thought here; with cut backs in the number of troops in Afghanistan that means changes for those that are going to be staying there. For some that means that they will have their two week leave postponed. Others will find out that their deployment will be extended by months. Which means a twelve month deployment may lead to an eighteen month tour instead.

The families of those that will be seeing their deployments extended will be put through even more agony when this happens.Those troops will need even more morale boosters. It's tough enough to get through a year away from home in the middle of a pile of sand. A year and a half becomes ones epitome of hell on Earth.

Our soldiers and their families need our help even more through these trying and extended tours. Let's all reach out and help show them that our love and appreciation doesn't end at the twelve month mark.

Reach out to help here: Operation We Send Love