Thursday, September 29, 2011

Thursday Sept. 29th, 2011

What a day today has been. I haven't been able to talk to Jon much though. That part stinks, but it's still been a pretty good day. My mood is up today which has been nice. So even though I haven't done much of anything, I feel like I have accomplished a lot.

I guess the biggest news is that I found my step-mom and my two step sisters and one step brother. I was on Facebook last night telling a friend happy birthday when I noticed a name of someone that had also wished birthday blessings. Michael Hall. That name jumped out at me.I had a step-brother with that name. Surely it couldn't be one in the same, could it? So I clicked the name and went to that wall. Imagine my surprise to see that it was indeed the same Michael Hall. I clicked a few other names on his family list. Carrie, my step-sister that I was pretty darn close with was listed. My step-mother Carolyn was also listed.

Carrie and I messaged back and forth for awhile, and then Carolyn also started messaging me. It was great! I was able to talk to them both this evening on the phone.

You never really realize how much you miss being a part of a family until you don't have that in your life anymore. It's like I found a part of me that had been missing almost 20 years. It's amazing how that makes you feel inside to re-meet your family. I'm hoping to get the chance to meet up with Carrie this weekend if all goes well.

My daughters have had that same kind of life. They never really had much family around. It has been so awesome being with the family we have come to love so much. Jon, mom and dad have all been so great about making the girls feel like they are a part of a family. It's been wonderful watching the girls getting so close to family. After meeting up with my aunt and uncle a few weeks ago, it's really beginning to feel like a family should feel.

Little by little I don't feel like the black sheep in the family anymore. I have people that love me and my kids, people that want us around. Who would have ever thought family could feel that way about family. My family was never close, I still have two sisters that won't have anything to do with me. I don't get to be a part of my nieces' lives or my nephew's. But I have parents, and sisters, an aunt and an uncle that like me being around.

I have an amazingly wonderful husband that loves me for me. That does anything and everything to make sure that I am happy. He doesn't see how I keep saying that I am the luckiest woman alive. I am so blessed. I never thought my life could get any better. Then something else changes and I feel even more blessed.

In these last three months, I have seen what Heaven is. I am a lucky woman. I have three angels with me every day. I have faith that the man I love will be home with us as soon as he can. I have hope that all will continue to get better and better.

On another note; I think I have came up with the perfect names for our beautiful little bundles if they should turn out to be darlings little girls.

Haylee Dawn
Caylee Grace

I love that they can sound like twins, yet still be unique with the difference in the middle names. I haven't had a chance to throw those names out to Jon yet. I'm hopeful however that he will like those names. I know that I leaned away from the names I had thought so much of. Not a Destiny, or a Charity, and not a Heaven or Cherish. Don't get me wrong, I still LOVE those names. Each unique and beautiful. But, I know my sweet man. I think the Haylee and Caylee will be a better choice where he is concerned.

(That doesn't mean I can't still hope for a little Cherish and Heaven.)

My darling Jon,

I know I keep throwing names out there to you. I just want you to keep thinking about your own ideas too. We will find the perfect names. I love you, and I miss you more than you can know. I look forward to being back in your arms soon. Even if it's only a few days that I get to be there. Stay safe my love.



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