Saturday, November 19, 2011

Friday Nov. 18th, 2011

I know that my darling husband will be reading this blog tonight after work. So tonight my blog is to him.

When you and I met July 4th, something about that day made me feel like a teenager again. As I got home that night I couldn't believe that I was acting so childish. Why did a man that I knew little about excite me so much? Nonetheless I felt unbelievably excited when you responded to me on Facebook and then to text.

When we set up to see one another the next day to go out to the lake, I literally had butterflies. I hoped that you agreed because there was something about me that you liked as well. I hoped that you didn't agree just because you wanted something to do.

It felt so right just sitting out there talking to you. I enjoyed getting to know you. By the time that we left there that evening, I knew that you were someone that I wanted to get to know even better. Going home that evening was strange.I was excited yet nervous as all get out. I talked to the kids about you coming over later that night. The girls seemed okay with it, none of them acted upset. Rose had a few questions but, I just explained that you and I wanted to get to know each other better and the only way to do that was for us to have time to sit and talk. She seemed okay with you coming over after that talk.

Little did I know at the time, it was Lea that was more upset by it that night.
When you finally got there that night I was thrilled. I really had a lot of fun just sitting and talking with you. It was great! I learned so much about you, I felt like I had known you for years.

I know that sounds strange considering we had only just met. It just felt like we were connected. It wasn't for a few days yet that I realized we were indeed connected. The more that I spent time with you that first week, the more I knew it was apparent that we were most certainly meant to be together. There was no where else in the word I wanted to be. When we spent time apart during those first days, my every thought was on you. I kept wondering if you were thinking about me like I was constantly thinking about you.

When you would text and ask if we were coming over or not, I knew that you too were thinking about me. The girls all agreed moving in with you was what we were supposed to do. Somehow through this all, the girls understand that you and I are meant to be together and that you were meant to be their dad.

Rose has surprised me in so many ways since this all began. This past two weeks since I have been home, she has not only surprised me but made me laugh. For only being fourteen she sure understands things that do with love more than most adults do. She's turning so much into me that it isn't funny.

When you asked me to move in here with you, I was shocked that you had asked that so soon. Yet at the same time I was ecstatic. I knew in that moment sitting on the porch talking with you, that you felt it too. You had to have felt that we were supposed to be together too or you wouldn't have asked at all. I knew right then that I wanted to say yes. I also knew that I had to figure out a way to bring it up to the girls to see what they thought of the question.

I wasn't sure that I would have the nerve to ask them about it. You see it was very important to me that they were okay with it. I never want to make a decision that affects their lives that makes them uncomfortable. As parents I know it is our job to make decisions, but I have always felt that as long as they were old enough to understand to some point they should be allowed to voice their opinions on the situation too. That's important to me that they be treated as young adults, not just as kids.

I think that's part of why Rose is so mature for her age. I have always tried to include them in choices I had to make. I want them to know they have voices. that's why it was so important to me that you talk to them and ask them questions when you wanted to know something that involved them. I wanted to see how you would interact with them, but  I also wanted to see how they were going to interact to you.

When you included them in every choice that we have made about our lives, I was impressed. You seem to feel the same way when it comes to raising kids as adults not children. I love that.

When you and I started talking about getting married, I had to approach the subject with them. I wanted to see what their reactions would be. I was so happy that they seemed to get excited about it. When you said on the phone one night that you wanted to talk to them about it after you got home from your training, I wasn't surprised but I was thankful. When you chose to do so while we were still there for the meeting, I was happy. It seemed like things were coming together very nicely.

The girls were so excited that you talked to them about it!

This has been such an exciting year in some ways yet in others it has been such a sad year. I finally found the love of my life. I finally found THE man I was always supposed to have in my life. I'm so very happy that I finally found you. Even though neither one of us was looking that evening we met, I know without any doubt that we were there that day for a reason. I am so very thankful for whoever had a hand in helping us find one another.

I will never regret one moment that we have had the privilege of spending together. I'm one very lucky woman and I know that I am. I will forever hold you in my heart. Having your love touch my soul is a intoxicating experience. I never knew that love was a feeling of completeness. That is exactly what you do, you complete me. I always knew that something was missing; I just never knew that love would fill that empty place in my heart.

I will do my best every day for the rest of my life to show you that same love that you have given to me. I promise to do my absolute best to never hurt you or cause you to have any doubts about us. I promise to always remember that you gave your love to me freely. I will remember that you put your trust in me. I will never do anything to cause you to regret that decision.

I love you so completely. You have my heart and my soul. You will always have my undying love.

Sometimes pictures can say it best. These are just a few things I would tell you if you were here with me right now. Thank you love, thank you for making sure that I can always feel the love that you have for me. It's not just simple to see that you love me, it's easy to feel it as well. I see it in your eyes every time that you look at me.

I love you sweetheart

Your wife


Faith Rose said...

This post means the world to me, I do believe I speak for us all when I say, You are such an amazing mom, wife and person, I get a lot from you, I choose to, I want to be that amazing woman everyone looks up to, and can talk easily with and laugh with about anything. I want to be like you because you are strong, beautiful and independent.

You are a true person, a wonderful soul, inside and out you are made to be the woman you are, a true mom, an amazing wife and all of our world. I love you.


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