Today we (the girls and grandma that is) made a batch of cookies. grandma had plans of making more but she wasn't feeling very well. The girls talked grandma into using two bags of chocolate chips in the cookies. Now I love chocolate as much as the next person, but let me tell you. Those cookies had more chocolate in them than a Hershey bar!The babies and I got three cookies down, before we all three had a sugar rush going on.
Jon had a rough day today. His mood was pretty low when I was able to talk with him shortly before chow. I love talking to him all the time, when he feels like crap though I just want to hold him in my arms until the mood passes him by. It's hard to do from here, my arms aren't that long. All I could do was try my best to make him laugh. So I tried to remind him that I will be coming to visit with him soon. To make him laugh even just a little I told him I was going to have to run him over when I saw him. Not enough to kill him, just injure him a little. That way he can come home to recuperate.
He laughed a little bit. That at least made me feel better. I need to know he is okay, that is the only thing that pulls me through the daily heartache. I still miss him every day. I don't see that ever changing. I miss hearing his voice, seeing his smile, feeling his touch. I miss the way his voice has that southern twang. I miss the way he says some things, "Holy Crap" is one of the little things I miss everyday.
I miss every thing. People often forget to tell the people they love how much they really mean to them. Often times they only think about it when it's too late. Since meeting my love, I try to tell him every day in some small way how very much I love him. My hope is that he can see and feel that the love I tell him I have for him, is not only real but is deeper than I can explain.
Every time that my cell phone rings or my little text message ringtone goes off, my heart jumps into my throat. When he calls me, my phone plays our song; "I Wouldn't Be A Man". That song means the world to me, Jon sings it to me all the time.
Mom made a video of Jon and I together that she used that song in. I love it so much, and I love her for thinking to add that song to the video. It truly means a lot to me.
On another note, our oldest two daughters now have their own blogs. If you want to read them and follow their day to day life while missing their dad, the links to their pages are on the left. A Soldier's Daughter is our middle daughters blog. A Soldier's Rose is our oldest daughters blog. Rose has already put her first post up! She loves to write, expect a lot of posting from her.
Lea from A Soldier's Daughter doesn't enjoy writing much, hopefully she will post to keep her dad up to date.
Tonight was a hard night. Jon is getting depressed again. He has a lot of things going on in his mind. I know it's only been a few months. I'm trying my best to get him to realize that he isn't in this alone anymore.
After a couple hours on the phone he has now gotten in a better mood. He's laughing, talking about our upcoming visit.
Jon,
I love you. I really enjoyed our conversation tonight. It was interesting, to say the least. I am really excited about the trip now. I know we still have quite a bit of time until then. But it is getting more intense just thinking about our time together. I love you.
Betty
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